Growing up, my grandma used to always smile at the obnoxious middle schoolers who hung out at the mall for hours on end. Even when I was in middle school, they would make me so mad! They were so distracted laughing and joking that they would bump into us, causing chaos in the stores. Regardless, grandma would always tell us that she is happy for them because they are having fun. I had no idea how much I would learn from that.
Lessons Learned
1. Be happy for others when they are happy
This is incredibly important. Instead of focusing on the minimal inconvenience the kids caused, grandma focused on the memories they were making. She talked about how she thought that it was amazing that they were having so much fun while they were hanging out together. She would remind me that there were times when I did the exact same thing with my friends without taking into account how it was affecting others.
Here’s an example that just applied to my life a few weeks ago when I had to put grandma’s precious advice into action. As many know, there is a tremendous stigma at military service academies regarding traditions. Many graduates boast how hard their experience was (which it was) and how easy freshmen Cadets have it now (which is not the case). A few weekends ago, all of the freshmen were awarded an overnight pass to leave the Air Force base, which is a huge privilege as a freshman. Some groaned about how previous years were not given this opportunity. Here’s the bottom line. Were they happy? Yes. Was this opportunity going to hinder their growth or discipline? No. Then, should we be happy for them? Absolutely.
2. Don’t forget what it used to be like
It is incredibly easy to forget how hard it was to be in middle school, go through your first break-up, or survive your first day on the job. Looking down on others who are learning and persevering through tough times is a relatively natural reaction. Seniors make fun of the freshmen. Colonels look down upon new lieutenants. Married couples shake their heads at young couples. It is everywhere. Grandma hit the nail on the head when she reminded me to remember what it was like to go through middle school and how exciting a trip to the mall used to be. I don’t want to forget to put it in perspective when I (oh so often) dissect the decisions of those around me.
3. Unless someone else is personally affecting your life, let them be
I don’t know about you, but I am truly hypersensitive to others being inconsiderate, especially in public places. A car doesn’t use their blinker when there are no cars around, I flip my lid. A phone goes off in a movie theatre, I flip my lid. A rushing student doesn’t hold the door for someone else, I flip my lid. Kids are loud in the mall, I flip my lid. The person beside me breathes, (just kidding). But you get my point. It is so easy to get caught up on what others are doing that you find it consuming your thoughts. Be like grandma!! Do not worry about what others are doing. You will never get the time back that you spend being mad at strangers.
Each day is full of tiny life lessons whether we view it that way or not. Sometimes comments that others don’t even remember can shape your life.
Thank you for that day in the mall. Thank you for the overwhelming number of lessons learned from you. I love you, Grandma.
XOXO,
Kay
