Five years ago when I read articles about women in the military feeling discriminated against I would roll my eyes. I thought I had tough skin. I was convinced that women who complained were just too sensitive or just not cut out for the military culture.
Life is funny in so many ways and this is one of them.
Fast forward one year. I was neck deep in military training. Not a day went by that I was not reminded that I was a female. I was struggling. Hard. My scholarship worth nearly $500,000 meant nothing to me. I was ready to quit.
**Before you stop reading, please hear me out.**
This is not a discussion about right and wrong. This is not a discussion about blaming others. This is not a discussion about victimizing women. This is a discussion about awareness. I was even guilty of ostracizing others in certain situations before I was truly informed about the impact it had.
Here are a few of the scenarios that changed my view on gender equality.
- During a training exercise, a group of men cheered in front of me when they received the news that no females were going to be on their team.
- “I thought you were a bro but I guess you’re just like rest of the girls.”
- A group chat was made by my Squadron that only excluded the females.
- “I can’t say that in front of her.”
- A group of friends placed bets on whether the females in their group would ask them to carry their ruck sack for them during a hike (for a military exercise).
- “I bet you will end up being a Pampered Chef mom, huh?”
While each of those situations, many of which happened countless times, were probably not malicious, they created a gap nonetheless.
My point has nothing to do with gender. Here’s why.
The most powerful part of this experience for me actually had nothing to do with gender. Going from an individual who neglected to support gender equality movements to a person who genuinely contemplated how differently I would be treated as a male in the same situations, I realized that I did not consider discrimination valid until I personally experienced it. The reason why this is such a vital observation is because I believe that this heavily applies to society today.
Society right now has a huge stigma against discrimination. I see it everywhere. Most of it is unspoken and lies in the silence of our own thoughts, but it is present. The stigma is that victims of discrimination are sensitive or paranoid. While I cannot speak for every case, I strongly believe that this is generally not the case in reality. The true issue resonates in perception. Mainly, the perception that discrimination is not real.
Let’s talk statistics.
- Race:A third of Blacks (35 percent) and about a quarter of Hispanics (26 percent) say they have experienced certain types of racial discrimination, such as being denied a job or housing, or being prevented from voting, compared to about 1 in 10 (11 percent) Whites.KFF.org Article Link
- Age:
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- More than 20 percent of workers in the United States, some 33 million, are age 55 and up, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967 protects workers 40 and older from personnel decisions based solely on age in hiring, firing, layoffs, promotions or demotions.AARP.org Link
- Pregnancy
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- In fiscal year 1997, more than 3,900 pregnancy discrimination charges were filed with the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission and state and local Fair Employment Practices agencies. By fiscal year 2013, the total had shot up to 5,342.
- Gender
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- About four-in-ten working women (42%) in the United States say they have faced discrimination on the job because of their gender.
Bottom Line: Just because you didn’t personally experience discrimination, doesn’t mean it isn’t real to others.
I fell into the trap of thinking that if it doesn’t affect me, it doesn’t exist. That’s a very closed-minded approach. It took being on the other side to realize that it does exist for some and I don’t have the right to ostracize others for expressing their desire for equality. The person who muffles the voice of those fighting for equality is just as guilty as those who actively discriminate against others.
Would you need to be personally bitten by a shark to know that it hurts?
Thank you for reading until the end. Let’s fight for equality together.
XOXO,
Kay
