You are a giver. You check on your friends when they have a bad day, write “good luck” notes when your coworker has an important meeting, and deliver delicious desserts to your broken-hearted amigos. Nine times out of ten you do it without thinking about it. It is truly a part of who you are. But what about that other 1/10th of the time when you struggle giving to others? Is it wrong to feel tired of giving??
I want to shout it to the world that yes!! It is ok to be a burnt out giver!! Every time we recognize that, it gives us an opportunity to become a more pure, genuine giver than ever before.
How do I know if I’m burnt out? Your thoughts probably sound like this:
- “I’m never the person on the receiving end of the giving.”
- “I don’t know how to just take. I only know how to give.”
- “I check on the people around me all the time but when I’m having a hard time no one seems to notice. I kind of just want someone to check on me.”
- “I’m not even sure if the people around me appreciate how much I give to them.”
Once you realize that you are, in fact, burnt out, where do you go from there? The first thing to do is step back and be still. I want you to focus on the last thought. I’m not even sure if the people around me appreciate how much I give to them. That is a powerful indicator that over time you have lost sight of why you became such a giver in the first place. We didn’t wake up one morning and think to ourselves, “I’m going to be a good friend to the stranger at work today because I know that they will say ‘thank you'” or “I can’t wait to give my wife flowers when she’s having a bad day so next time I have a bad day she buys me flowers, too.” Remind yourself that we are givers whether or not we are acknowledged or thanked for what we do. We are givers because it is who we are from the inside out. Realign your actions with your values and avoid feeling like those around you owe you for what you give to them. If we expect every act of kindness we perform to be given back to us, we will be constantly disappointed.
“If you’re helping someone and expecting something in return, you’re doing business not kindness.” -Unknown
Be still and remember why you became a giver in the first place. Then, be a better giver.
XOXO,
Kay
